Friday was the execution, it didn’t hit me, at least not right away. I mean this great man, this miracle worker, this person who could see through the masks and cloaks I wear and see the real me was executed. You know this man who said hey you, you are of worth, you are loved, now go and love. This man who said that I and you could change the world, this man who preached and expounded the Holy’s love, who lived it, and told of a better day, a day when we would all love one another, a day when our willingness to engage the Holy’s love and each other would bring about much needed healing and restoration to the world that the Holy created and called good, was killed in horrific fashion by the government. We thought he was going to be with us, and now he is dead… except that was nearly 2000 years ago… We know the story of what happens, but this time of year I pause, and go… No I don’t know the story… I let my body flow through the cycle of life that is before us. I allow myself to grieve, to wait… unknowing that which I know. So the execution, this horrific act, sometimes hits me right away, but it didn’t.

It took time, it wasn’t till Saturday evening, as my body ached, and screamed stories of being tired and worn out to me and needing rest that I finally felt that execution. I finally started to morn executed Christ. Part of that morning was about the ways I have stumbled, the ways I have failed to live in response to the message He proclaimed, and I feel called to live. Part of it was the realization of how worn out I feel, how I struggle to engage the Holy when life seems full of stumbling blocks, when I find it hard to find the doorways and pathways, and trails and… that I can engage to help share the love of the one who was just executed, be it many many years ago. In my mind last night I went, “I don’t think I’ll be ready to celebrate the good news in the morning…”  I wonder what the early disciples would have thought had they realized the resurrection that was to come, a resurrection hinted at, but not understood by them. I wonder what they thought, not knowing… I wonder how it is that we find ourselves sometimes executing the Christ representation which we are called to be… you know how we fail to act, how we fail to share, to love, to heal… 

Last night, I went… I’ll go to the tomb, and if I find it empty… I think I’ll just sit there, I don’t think I’ll be able to embrace the realization of the empty tomb, I won’t be able to understand the messengers, or see the reality I encounter as I see the Christ… When I first awoke, the sun yet to rise, I still was in that place, but when I awoke with the rising sun, and as I heard the birds chirping outside, I knew different. Christ has risen, yes indeed.  Still I want to sit and ponder at the empty Tomb, but I am seeing, I am realizing the reality that it points towards, the hope and truth found in that emptiness, and emptiness which is full. Full of love, of peace, of hope, of strength. Strength to go forth and bring healing to a broken world. Hope, that I too can be restored, healed resurrected from the depths of my struggles, into the creation that the Holy formed and called good. Hope that I can find the pathway I need to embrace to be one of many proclaiming the peace of Christ, sharing that peace, sharing the love, and bring forth the peaceable community where all are loved, where creation is known to be sacred, the worth of all is known, respected, and embraced by all, where relationships a whole and healed… you know the community Jesus the  Christ proclaimed, lived taught… the peaceable community, aye even Zion (as my tradition would say).

My mind ahs drifted to 2 Easter’s past. I was serving an internship as a Hospital Chaplain, and was on duty that Sunday Morning. As such I lead the Sunday worship service, gave the Easter message to a group of perhaps 20-30 gathered in the Hospital Chapel. As the service came to an end, the pager on my hip buzzed, and soon afterwards I found myself sharing with a family, and with medical personnel in the last moments of their loved one / patient’s life as they maid the decisions that would bring a form of peace and healing, but also a form of loss. It was not my last visit with them that day. I’m not 100% sure why this memory comes to mind, why I can see the cards taped to the wall, the face of the young D.O., the nurses, the patient.. at this moment in time. What I can say is in this encounter, and in this memory, I find myself saying “What.. The Tomb is Empty ‽ What shall I do, how will I respond? How will my life be different with the awareness of the continuing presence of the Holy, who can I, you, us live out the resurrection of Christ. How can we keep that mission going, How will we Live the mission and hope of Christ this day?”  I find myself as well, knowing a bit more about myself, and the ways I have to serve, and hope that I will find that path, even if at times it is hard to see past the emptiness, and find the fullness that resides within it…

So let us stand from our pondering, and start to live the peace, passion, and mission of  Christ. Let us allow ourselves to be healed, to be “resurrected” and go forth and do help heal, restore “resurrect” all of creation…

Peace be with us all

In light of Grace I have from God, I urge each of you not to exaggerate your own importance. Each of you must judge yourself soberly by the standard of faith God has forgiven you. Just as each of us has one body with many members— and these members don’t have the same function— so all of us, in union with Christ, form one body. And as members of that one body, we belong to each other.
We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophecy, use it in proportion to your faith. If your gift is ministry, use it for service. If you are a teacher, use your gift for teaching. If you are good at preaching, then preach boldly. If you give to charity, do so generously; if you are a leader, exercise your authority with care, if you help others, do so cheerfully.

Romans 12:4-8 Inclusive Bible

3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. ⁴For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, ⁵so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. ⁶We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ⁷ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching;⁸the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.

Romans 12:4-8 NRSV

We reflected in our small group about the diversity of gifts, the need for them, the need for “unity in diversity”, about our interconnectedness. We shared what gifts mentioned we felt related to our own gifts and expression.

Later in another small group as we sought to create a brief elevator speech about Bread, and then to respond to a particular response someone might say. The three of us talked about a few things, as we responded to our “response.” We got of track a bit at some point, though related in a way to the task before us, and started sharing and reflecting how wonderful it was to be engaging the issues as an ecumenical voice, and in that conversation reflecting on how each denomination is unique, gifted with its own sets of gifts and talents and calling, and together we represent the body of Christ. Reflecting how as institutions we are interconnected and need one another to be able to live out as the Body of Christ. We also started to reflect on interfaith possibilities as well, but our time ran out and it was time to come back to the group as a whole.

But this has gotten me thinking, and thus as I write this on at the start of the Easter season, I feel the need to share. For it is something that keeps coming to mind, as I encounter additional scriptures, and prepare for World Conference.

Let’s start with one of the scriptures from the World Conference pages:

…let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.  And be thankful.  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

Colossians 3:15-16

Let Christ’s peace reign in your hearts since, as members of one body, you have been called to that peace. Dedicate yourselves to thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ, rich as it is, dwell in you. Instruct and admonish one another wisely. Sing gratefully to God from your hearts in psalms, hymns, and songs of the Spirit

Colossians 3:15-16 Inclusive Bible

And also from Steve’s explanatory remarks  within the Counsel he shared with the church in January:

As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to the promise. Galatians 3:27–29:

All of you who have been baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. In Christ there is no Jew or Greek, slave or citizen, male or female. All are one in Christ Jesus. Furthermore, if you belong to Christ, you are the offspring of Abraham, which means you inherit all that was promised. Galatians 3:27-29 Inclusive Bible

I wonder as I read these about our tendency to reflect upon them as individuals.  The Authors of the original letters were speaking to particular groups of people, and so perhaps it is right that we look upon them as being to the individuals that made up that community. Surely they were addressing some issues that were coming up within the community, but perhaps another layer could be seen as how the different communities relate to one another, even if not the primary aim. I think for us today, both an individual and a communal understanding should be taken. You, and I, and everyone else have been given a series of gifts and talents, we have been entrusted with these gifts, as others have been entrusted with theirs. We are all different, but we are “one” in the One who is Risen, yes Risen Indeed!

At the same time we are not just called into being as individuals, we are called into being as families, and communities. Community of Christ was divinely called into being, but not divinely called into being to be THE Community, just as I was not called into being to be THE human, or THE Christian nor were you, but to be one part of a greater whole.

We individually and communally have been called, we have been blessed with specific gifts and talents, that are DIFFERENT than those of others. Some may be similar to others, but the exact set is DIFFERENT. However without the gifts and talents of everyone else’s, the greater Body does not function, we are all needed to bring about healing and reconciliation. Community of Christ as a people of Temple, a people of sacrament, a people of peace, justice, restoration… as a prophetic people, Must stand with others to lift up that prophetic voice, and with the rest of the Body bring about healing and restoration to all of creation.

I hope that as we step forward this coming week as a body, we will have the strength to be a Body, to truly embrace our diversity, and become the prophetic people we are called to be. part of which mean making sure we ALL are functioning as we are called to be, and part of which means recognizing that this “body” that we make up is but one member of the greater Body of Christ. Together we are ALL one in Christ. Together we live the Resurrection of Christ and share that hope and good news to the World.

This morning (well now I guess yesterday) as I sat and reflected in the Prayer and testimony service, a few images came to me. Two were of my time as a Chaplain at a major Hospital: My experiences last Easter as I preached there and ministered with patients, families, and staff throughout the day, and the other the time I shared with an old catholic man who called me Father, even knowing I was not a Catholic priest. The third though is what I want to dwell on, it was thoughts of Church History, thoughts of the Sacramental meal… remembering how for some early on when they partook of the sacramental meal, they had an understanding of transformation of self. I wondered, what would happen, if we as a global community and family truly took the time to embrace the sacramental meal during conference, and became transformed into the prophetic expression of the Living Risen Christ we are called to be. That from our sharing in bread and wine together this Coming Sunday we become transformed into a prophetic people willing to listen to one another, embrace our diversity, learn our gifts, and truly live out our core values/enduring principles and our divine calling. What if we are transformed into a whole body, that knows its interconnectedness and interdependence on its members, and also in its relationships with other whole bodies that make up the Body of Christ, the Body of Faiths, the Body of Creation….  It would be amazing, I hope at the least we will at least become aware, and take the steps needed to become the Body (that is part of a greater body) that the Holy called us 170 years ago, 150 years ago, 50 years ago, 3 years ago, yesterday, today, tomorrow….  That we will embrace a path that WILL be difficult, that WILL be uncomfortable, but WILL lead to the healing and restoring of all of creation, if we have faith in ourselves, each others, our calling, the Hope and Peace of the Risen Christ, Comfort and Hope of the Breathing Spirit, and Love and Grace of the Holly Creating One.

Well I need some rest now, till next time Peace be with you…

I awoke early, perhaps in anticipation, and started my day. In the morning I would find myself at the Armory, helping with other members of the senior class council and others in getting it ready for graduation. I remember us going out and eating at Red Robin, then dealing with the bill, money flying this way and that as I tried to make change and cover the portion over five dollars each I was provided. I remember rehearsal. I remember arriving with my parents that evening. I remember walking to my seat as the band played, hearing the national anthem being sung, watching baby picture and senior pictures flash on the wall as our names were called and we walked across the stage and received a rolled piece of paper. Then afterward going to a room off to the side and getting my diploma. I remember going home and then driving the truck to school one last time, getting on a bus and going to the all night party, then in the morning being up for over 24 hours driving back home. Unlike any other graduations I knew for sure what was in the near future, what was next. I knew the youth activities I was going to participate in, I knew I was going to Graceland in the fall and a few other things. We were not arranged by name, but rather had chosen who we would walk in with (if anyone, I chose to go alone) then arranged in some order I know not. I think there were around 150 or so in our class, once I knew but now I can not recall. I know our freshman year it was a class  around 190….

Just less than three years later I would once more be donning cap and gown. The Sunday before graduation the Sunday morning worship service was our Baccalaureate. We gathered in the Shaw center for worship, wearing cap and gown. I arrived early, the first or one of the first  as I did almost every Sunday, serving as head deacon of Campus Ministries. That early time before everyone arrived to Sunday worship was my worship time. When I could pause, breathe, pray, play the piano as prayer, before others arrived to help set up, before worship started for everyone else. As we gathered learned the person who was to do the benediction would not be able to, and so I filled the space, went upon stage with the others participating in the service. Ambassador Menzies, president of the school gave the sermon. I remember of all the prayers said in the service all had some gendered language for the Holy, be it a pronoun, or the word Lord, or God or Father or… mine perhaps the one exception until the last few words, where I believe I said “In your son’s most holy name, Amen.” Later that day a great transformation took place and I looked much different when we gathered in the Chapel for a final worship service. At Baccalaureate I had long curly red hair, down to mid back, longer if pulled strait, having not been cut since July or June of 2000. For that closing service, my hair was much shorter, the hair bound and placed in an envelope to be sent off to locks of love the next day.

The following Sunday was graduation. Somewhere between 400-500 students I think gathered, most to receive Bachelors and some Masters. The largest graduating class as of then (I’m sure surpassed the following year). We lined up, standing with whomever we wished, arranged by degree I’m sure. As we walked across the stage handing a card with our name, which was read, and receiving an empty case. Afterwards heading from the gym to the Shaw center to pick up the actual degree to go in the case. All I knew then was I was going to be riding in the overfull car with my parents back from Iowa to Oregon, and I wanted to go to Seminary, but did not know when it would happen as I still awaited to hear from schools. That fall I entered the first of three schools, and started an adventure filled with many unexpected turns, leading to once more walking across the stage in cap and gown six years later.

The 17th I preached at Kirtland, the next two days I finished up my Clinical Pastoral Education paper work, the final day being the 20th. Sadly saying goodbye to working and learning with my wonderful CPE group and others there at the clinic. Thursday my parents arrived, and soon afterwards I was once more at the clinic, for my final night on call. Encountering a few deaths, and other calls. Spending time with patients an their families. A bit of rest, maybe a total of two or three hours,  up at 3:06am for a call and never returning to bed until Friday night. After my final morning report, traveling home, so tired I kept making turns leading to a beautiful, but long drive home. As I drove the needed on the gas gage laying on empty, the “check gauges” light turning on to let me know fuel would soon be needed, but I made it home without refueling. (Had less than half a gallon in it when I refueled a few days later). I unloaded into my apartment, talked with my parents, took a shower, packed and drove down to Delaware, OH with my parents, in their car. Spent time conversing with friends who I had not seen for a while, then practicing “walking.” Then off with my parents for dinner and to find where we would be staying the night, before returning for Baccalaureate. My services not needed as an usher, I found myself sitting with my parents and engaging in the service. My name still listed to do a task that I was unable to do, not having the authority to do so.

In the morning gathering with others in the dining hall for one last time, pulling up an extra chair and place setting to a table. Hearing a professor who’s classes I always enjoyed and received much from share a message with us, along with sharing in conversation with her and my fellow graduates. The it was time to converse with others, to get our commencement attire on, and then to walk to our assigned seats, arranged by degree and then alphabetically. The president mentioned about googling the dean who gave the address and finding a picture… By the end of the service those of us in row three having seen a picture of the dean…. oh how technology has changed things. The service ended, we walked out, smiles upon our faces. I being delighted and surprised by how much the weekend and this ceremonial closure had meant to me. How the joking, and the serious aspects of those two days touched me. My smallest graduation people wise, around 50, middle in reflecting amount of life’s journey it reflected, but perhaps biggest on impact to me.

I now step forward in the unknown. I feel called to serve within Community of Christ, but I enter the world at a less than opportune time, two budget cuts transpiring while I was in seminary… the second transpiring right now and on the 15th people starting to learn if their positions still exit or not… thus job opportunities are a bit slim in my field… with the economy the greater fields also limited. Yet strangely though there is a bit of stress knowing I soon need employment to make the bills as I serve, I have a sense of peace and hope about me.  I’m ready for the next adventure. I know I have worked hard, been blessed by the companionship of many, have gained much insight, and am ready for what comes next. Well as ready as I can be, especially not knowing what it is for sure.   Hmm, anyone hiring? I know this young man who just graduated seminary and willing to work in various fields as long as he gets enough to keep a roof above his head, a bit of food in him, and put a bit toward his student loans… If it’s with Community of Christ, great! If not, well I’ll continue serving  in self sustaing capacity, as I find the resources for that sustaing elsewhere

Peace,

I would graduate at the end of my third year, without knowing for sure what was next. In the fall of 2003, I found myself in  the first of three Seminaries that I would attend. My experiences there were valuable, but it was not the place for me. I planned to finish out the year and transfer elsewhere. However do to various leadings and encounters the day after World Conference 2004 ended I would make the decision to withdraw. In the Fall of 2004 I found myself in Seattle Washington attending the School of Theology and Ministry at Seattle University. it was an amazing lace, and I loved it and had all intents on finishing my degree there. It was there that I would come to appreciate and develop a strong interest in Liturgical Theology, inspired in part by my advisor who’s area was within this field. It was here I would acknowledge various health issues, leading to a rest from my studies for almost a year and a half. At the end of which I had all intentions of returning. Including having my schedule planed out till degree completion. Then within a week of doing so found myself called to move to Ohio and go to the Methodist Theological School in Ohio. A school where I would encounter many wonderful people, have new and different experiences, and eventually get to that day of completion, though taking much longer than planed. Adding and then removing a second degree as part of the process. For the past 20 weeks I have served as a chaplain at the Cleveland Clinic, I write these words as I finish the final hours of that experience.

Today the board of trusties will confer degrees to the graduating class of 2009. This afternoon I have commencement practice, this evening baccalaureate, and tomorrow I will walk in academic regalia celebrating in ceremonial form the completion of this part of the journey and passage to… well whatever is next. Tomorrow I will receive an expensive piece of paper that may take the rest of my life to pay for. A piece of paper that reflect 6 years of life experiences, many wonderful people, reflection, discovery of self, deeper relationship with the Holy and with other, and preparation for that which is to come.

The future is filled with unknown and uncertainties, but also much excitement, joy, and possibility.  I wait to hear of job possibilities. I ponder further education (exploring some this morn). Reflect on ways of sustaining myself while doing that ministry to which I am called to. I just hope I have faith to trust myself, to embrace and share my gifts, talents, and go forth with other in community to help form the blessed and long dreamed for, and to which we are called. Peaceful community we in Community of Christ call Zion, that is, was, and is yet to be. Dreaming of the day when diversity is truly honored and celebrated and we live in true, difficult,  and loving peace, where the worth of all is truly recognized and embraced by all and the earth and all of creation is cared for.

I look forward to continuing this journey with you.

May we live the Peace of the Living Christ,