Sunday I gathered with members of the Kirtland Community of Christ to share in the words of counsel webcast. As I sat there, watched, listened, reflected, sang with my brothers and sisters my mind went a few places. My heart went to a few places as well. Then as I have struggled to find words to write, my mind has drifted many places as well. What follows is an attempt to express in the now my thoughts, as I start my journey with this text in preparation for the 2010 World Conference. The full next is located HERE
As I struggle with personal issues at this time my mind has been a bit cloudy and thus a bit harder to open up and reflect, and yet I have tried, and I hope and pray to become more open as time goes on.
As Steve spoke, I at times looked around to try and have some sense of the needs of those physically present with me, and my mind tried reflecting on the words. It was quite a different experience than the last time Steve brought forth counsel to the church. Then I was sitting near some of my brothers and sisters from Africa in a room filled with people from many countries and cultures around the globe. Sunday I was in a room with people I worship and serve with regularly, representing a much smaller spectrum of diversity and cultures, but still diversity and watching the Prophet president on a wall rather than in person. Then I knew not that it was to be counsel shared, this time I did. So perhaps this all could have impacted my sense of being. However, as the meditation took place, and I looked upon another screen, and skimmed through the words, a greater depth came through me. A sense of “truth” came through me as well.
Each time I have gone back to it, I find a sense of truth. Yet I also feel a sense of incompleteness, of something missing, of edges unpolished… When I think of my experiences with the inspired counsel that became Doctrine and Convents 162 and 163, both before and after they were canonized and my experiences with this document, I find myself in a different place. For all three of these documents I find that sense of truth, with 162 and 163 there was and is a sense that they are scripture as a whole, with this, I find myself not there. If World Conference was right now and this was presented to be considered for inclusion into the Doctrine and Covenants today, I think my hand wound not rise in the affirmative. Yet I do feel it is inspired by the same Spirit that inspired 162 and 163. Perhaps as it is, in my encounter so far something more like the counsel brought forth in 1996 by W. Grant McMurry, which was but a part of what would become the document presented in 2000 and included into the Doctrine in Covenants. Perhaps it is inspired counsel to the church, but not counsel that should be embraced as scripture and whatever that may entail. Perhaps as I spend more time with it in prayer and reflection my mind will change to different understandings of what it is and is not.
I wonder if Steve in a desire to present this document to the church with time to reflect on it before World Conference “rushed” the document. If he had waited one more month to present the document would it be the same as we have before us now, or would it be slightly different? If he had more time, would he still have felt the need to include the commentary/introductions, or would it have flowed without the need for as in-depth introductions? Is it good to have this in depth intermixed within the document? I know that in the hearing of it, this did in part distract me from encountering it as fully as I encountered upon reading it. Or would it be the same?
But as to the document… focusing just on the counsel..
The first three paragraphs, I keep seeing and encountering a sense of the Holy, even though I struggle with 2c and my personal understandings… the truth and Spirit that flows through embraces me.
Paragraph 4, finds truth as well. The liturgical and sacramental theologian within me finds great joy within 4c: “Explore all the ways the Lord’s Supper can spiritually form the church community into a true and living expression of the life, sacrifice, resurrection, and continuing presence of Christ…” and the possibilities that could come from embracing these words.
It is perhaps paragraphs 5-7, I find truth and comfort with, and yet it is perhaps this portion where I struggle with the most, and find that sense of “not yet ready” popping up. Perhaps it is the flow of words. Perhaps it is at a time when I have seen and felt the World Conference referring more and more to church leadership rather than embracing its responsibility I fear parts of 7 could be interpreted in ways to do so even more so. That some interpretation could lead to placing more distractions upon those called to be out there leading us in sharing the Peace of Christ, and thus hinder the work of the church.
Will we assume we know who the “proper World church officers” are and in fact assign these tasks to the wrong ones and hinder the mission of the church? Will be be open to the possibility that the “proper” might not always be the same group? I worry about 7d and the financial situation of the church. How will we fund national and or field conferences? Is there other mission work that the time, energy and other recourses that will be going into these conferences be better used for? Should it be just the principles outlined in the counsel, or harmony with the principles of the counsel and also those found throughout scripture and…?
In a day and age where people have limited time that they can take away from work, from caring for their families basics needs, will such events truly be able to foster dialogue, understanding and consent of the whole, or just those who are able to spend time and money to participate in these events? For those who now struggle to find ways to attend mission center conferences, and or World Conferences, uncertain how to do so while also keeping food on the table, roof over their families heads, keeping their jobs… Will they feel include. For those who will have to make the choice of being staff at a youth retreat, or volunteering in ways that help build communities of joy, hope, love and peace and recognize the worth of all persons or attending one of these conferences due to limited time they can take off from employment, which choice will they take? Will such things foster true consent and growth, or will they lead to hindrances of the work of the church, and perhaps a greater sense of separation within the church between those who are able to participate (weather they choose to or not) and those who are not able to?
Then there is paragraph 8… the introduction makes me wonder “now free to” did he have a sense of this counsel three years ago, but knew it wasn’t the right time? I must also admit when I heard Steve say the words of 8b my mind went to what transpired early in church history after the death the death of the first president of the church… which did not bring comfort to mind. I would be curious to hear what Steve at this time thinks the words might mean for this time a place. 8c, speaks volumes to me, and yet it is one of the smallest parts…
The final portion paragraph 9: It as well speaks tremendous volumes to me as well, and upon re-reading right now as I type these words I am slowly finding the fog that has been blocking my sermon preparation lifting… still not there to work on the sermon for the 31st but slowly getting there. The words here, and the truth and connection I find with my own personal calling, are wonderful…this paragraph speaks deeply to me….
You know, I’m in a different place than I was two hours ago when I started writing this piece… and now I’m not sure what I do if it was presented to be included in the Doctrine and Covenants or not. My concerns for paragraph 7 weigh upon me, but the truth within each paragraph speaks to me, paragraph 9 so greatly… There is much of it I could see as being right for that place, some I am still pondering, and the question of its completeness still lays upon me as well, though it feels a little more complete after this writing and reflection about it.
The question I now ask myself is, am I ready to truly risk, to truly live? I also ask, how do I work out my struggle between a sense of truth in paragraph 2 and my personal understanding of the sacrament of baptism… Perhaps the greatest struggle, even beyond differences it may express between my current understandings and what it professes, is that I feel we as a body need to develop a deeper understanding and theology regarding all of our sacraments… perhaps this is the start for that discussion and formulation?
Peace be with you
— Lyle II