Nine years ago Marry Ellen presided over the worship service at the Salem Community of Christ congregation. The hymns for the day came from hymnal supplement Sing a New Song and one from the previous hymnal The Hymnal. None came from the current hymnal Hymns of the Saints or from the supplement Sing for Peace. There were many visitors that day, all who knew me, some related to me. That service included the celebration of the Sacrament of Ordination. I came forward at that point in the service and sat in a chair facing the congregation. Leon and David placed their hands upon my head and ordained me to the office of Deacon. A lot has happened since that day.
In some ways I had been preparing for that calling even before I had an conscious awareness that I was being called to ordained ministry, in some ways I was already serving in that office as well. However I also know that in the time that would follow I would see skills and abilities needed for serve in that role grow and develop. A few days after I was ordained I would find myself on an airplane for a few days in Independence, MO and then a week at Graceland University in Lamoni, IA for my final year at Spectacular. It was a mixed time in my life however. Just a couple days before I had ended a week of being a counselor at Junior camp, an amazing week, but also on the last day of camp just before the closing activities learning my cousin had taken his life. So it was a time of joy and sorrow, a time of growing in many ways. just prior to Junior camp I believe was the last time I had a haircut my hair until the Sunday before I graduated from Graceland in 2003, though not having any idea that would be the case then.
After my return from Spec, I packed and was home for a couple of weeks before I found myself once more on a plane and heading back to Graceland University. While there I would soon find myself become the Chaplain for Agape House, I would struggle as I watched my roommate make poor choices, and remembered the words his mother had said to me when she learned I was going to be his roommate, and in some ways feeling as I had let her and him down. I would serve with other deacons in campus ministries, and at the end of the year I would find myself accepting the job of head deacon, find myself being a religion major and on a path much different than I envisioned a year before when those hands were placed on my head.
Over the next two years I would minister to and with the deacons at Graceland. I would step beyond the job description and try to provide and do more. I would grow in my role, would learn others saw me as mentoring others in their ministry, saw me serving truly in that role of deacon, even when I felt like I was just going through the motions and not truly living up to that calling.
I graduated, and soon found myself in seminary. The first one was not a good fit for me, the second was, though I became ill and required time away. Then returned not back, but rather to a third school far away. During this time I served several congregations, sometimes more than one at a time, though rarely with official titles for what I did. Once almost stepping into the possibility of being the pastor of a congregation, just before I became aware of my illness.
I’ve served at Community of Christ Historic sites five of the summers of the past nine years, along with another year and a half of volunteer service with them or so. Helping to develop some of the spiritual formation ministry of Community of Christ at the Kirtland Temple, sharing and listening to the life stories of many coming from a wide range of faiths and non. I shared and learned with those from many faiths in my schooling, being blessed by their insights as they have helped me see the wonders of my own. In times of struggle also found, once more the possibility of the role of congregational pastor, though once again things worked out otherwise.
Over the past four or so years I have found myself sensing my calling changing from that of deacon to that of another ministerial office. I struggle as I see myself drawn to particular ministry that falls outside of my present office, and also see myself ministering in ways that does fall within it. As I have shared with others and reflected I have come to greater understanding, and greater confusion. Some have shared with my their sense of other calling for me as well. As I seek to serve my calling, embrace the education I have taken upon myself for the past 9 years, education that 9 years ago today would never have crossed my mind, I find myself struggling. It’s a time when many in my field have lost their jobs due to the economy and resulting downsizing. The positions that are open which I feel drawn toward, often require someone holding an office other than that which I hold, sometimes one which I do feel though may be the office I am called to.
Thus I find myself struggling, having this sense and desire for service, having ideas but yet not full clarity. Felling yeas I am a Deacon but I’m also called to…. I’m feel called to this postion or that, and feel that I have the ability, gifts, talents for it, that one in the office of Deacon could serve in it, and yet they want another office… so I apply anyway in hopes they might see possibility, and to aid me in preparing.
I look forward to the next nine years of ordained ministry, as I serve with others to help share the Peace of Christ, restore broken relationships, uplift the the worth and dignity of all, and pursue the peaceable community that is, was, and will be that we in Community of Christ call Zion.
Peace be with you,
— Lyle II