The disciples gathered together with Jesus the Christ and shared in meal of bread and wine. Not knowing, not realizing the horror that was to transpire the following day, let alone the great joy that would come following the Sabbath. That week in which they gathered in that sacred meal they stumbled in various ways, as they had throughout their journeys as disciples. I find myself perhaps amongst them now.
Palm Sunday: Christ humbly entered into Jerusalem upon. The details vary from account to account, but they draw upon the symbolism of royalty and yet distinctly different, the people shout out in praise like manner words that convey “save me, Save me” though the salvation they called for, expected was not the dimensions of salvation that Christ shared and brought to light.
Palm Sunday/ Holy Monday: I gathered and shared with others in meal, We tried to listen to and did hear part of the address to the church by Prophet-President Steven M. Veazey. (I recommend listing to it as he added a few words here and there and something extra comes with spoken word verse written word). Upon returning home I read it along with watching the video message to the young adults of the church. In the morning reading through the message once more and listening to the audio.
Holy Monday / Holy Tuesday: I found myself distracted off kilter, out of focus.. worn and tired and found myself stumbling in small little ways. Hurting my relationship with myself and perhaps the Holy.
Holy Wednesday: At work, sharing in community. Uplifting, learning growing, and stumbling greatly, responding in ways not like how I wanted. Sharing and caring for others, being in community and making perhaps stumbling in actions done, that harmed no one, but broke in some ways promises to myself though brought harm to no other, and were not against any law, policy… just my own promise to self. Though it also is not the first time I have broken that promise, but rather the third, all three transpiring in the last year of life. I am just off kilter, out of balance, floating away from cosmic harmony and positive chaos.
Holy Thursday – Maundy Thursday: The disciples gathered, shared in meal together… and told of what is to come once more but not aware, course already set in place…
Holy Thursday – Maundy Thursday: Day starts restful, perhaps a bit sluggish. My mind drifts to places I want it not to go, frustration, stumbling more in thought. Off to work, to share in ministry with other. To death I go, and felt myself not fully being there… feeling as if the words coming out of my mouth are not as full as they should be, the conversations of day before ranging through my mind a bit. To write and reflect I go, and above is found then reaching today I receive a page and find myself going, and sharing with those in need. Sharing in conversation and in prayer. Not stumbling as I have. In ways though it is as if Deacon Lyle / Chaplain Lyle / Minister Lyle is there and in one small corner of the mind is the great stumbler, kept at bay by the need of those present. The weight of the frustration at self completely gone. Then back down the halls and through the elevators to finish my reflections and the weight of that stumbler falls back upon me.
Good Friday Black Friday: it’s not here yet and yet it might as well be for me. I know the story, I know the looming death, the destruction, the pain and anguish. How could we, how do we inflict so much harm and pain upon others, upon ourselves, and all of creation. yet in that death a shimmer of hope perhaps can be found, for in that death Christ shows us God is with us even in our worst of actions, and even in those times when horror is done to us as well. I know what comes next as well, but I’m not going there, not yet. Instead I wait, I sit in mourning. I swim in the sea of death yet to be restore back to life, and I wait.
Day of Resurrection – Easter Sunday – Pascha: I wait… hoping that as the sun rises on the third day I will be able, will be willing to see the empty tomb and go “He is Risen, Risen Indeed.” That I will be able to embrace the invitation of the Living Christ and “come and receive divine peace in the midst of the difficult questions and struggles of life.” That I will be able to “Follow Christ in the way that leads to God’s peace and discover the blessings of all the dimensions of salvation,” (Doctrine and Covenants 163:2a) and not only may this be true for me, but also for Community of Christ…. With the resurrection may we engage our prophetic call fully and with great passion and compassion.
Peace be with you,
— Lyle II
April 10th, 2009 @ 9:13 am
I often think of my faith journey as a series of stumbles smoothed out by God’s grace. I want my journey to be all smooth, a never ending series of right choices and right actions but it’s not happening. I always need to remind myself that the disciples were with Jesus 1 on 1 both in the flesh and after the resurrection and yet they stumbled. While we stumble along, we’re in good company.