My shift drew to a close and I sat there in a chair facing my fellow chaplain who’s shift just started. We sat and talked about a few things, including the form of ministry we would like to do and what we hoped for after our time at the hospital came to a close. I spoke of uncertainty, of the joy of the position I am applying for. I spoke of my confidence that youth ministry was not for me as a full time thing, it is a most valuable ministry that takes a special type of person that is not me.
I spoke of certain aspects of my calling, but afterwards I thought and pondered why in that situation did I not think and express some of my great passions and desires? Why didn’t I express my great desire to help Community of Christ grow and develope its theology in areas of liturgy, sacrament, and temple? To help Community of Christ have worship that truly reflects calling, and empowers us to engage in our calling? Why did I not speak of my strong sense of personal calling to sharing of the Peace of Christ in ways that uplifts the worth of all, brings about healing and comfort, and lets people know they are not alone. An aspect that scares me, but is central to who I am and I am still struggling to understand more fully. Perhaps I did touch on this later aspect a bit as I explored the position I am applying to with her, but still I do not think I explicitly explored it, and I wonder why.
Some of this was perhaps on my mind this morning, as I drove into town for worship in community. As I aided with the preparing of the bulletins, and glanced at the worship schedule and realized a couple of things:
- I am on call during the day on Easter and thus am speaking, presiding… on Easter in an ecumenical context
- I am scheduled to be on call on a Sunday in May and also scheduled that same Sunday to preach at a local congregation. One of which will need to be re-arranged.
So now even more thoughts are on my mind as I realize I need to start work on even more things than I had anticipated. I have to ponder spending Easter away from faith community I know, and forming a service and words of resurrection, that can speak in someway through the Grace of the Holy One to those who may or may not gather in the Hospital’s chapel, or perhaps watch over the TV if it is working. I also need to start planning and preparing for the Wednesday service I am scheduled to lead at the clinic, and so much more. Yet none of these are the place for the sermon that has been wrangling in my head for sometime, a sermon for an ecumenical setting that will probably never to be given. Though perhaps parts will find their way into other sermons over time.
Life is filled with great joy and hope. So much to do, so much to think.
Peace be with you till we meet again(and beyond),
— Lyle II