The past several weeks have been a time of reflection and awakening for me as I struggle to grasp and understand my calling. There are aspects of that calling I know and other aspects of it that escape me. The past few weeks has been a time of engaging and reflecting on that call.
On a Sunday in November of 1999I knew for the first time to which office I was called to serve in, and less than an hour later that call was presented to me. Two years or so prior I had first felt a sense of call to ordained ministry, but it would be that day I came to realize and understand in what way. 23 July 2000 hands were laid upon my head and I was ordained to that office. As I look back upon that experience and what came before, i see myself serving in some way in that office before that date. In the Years that would follow as I served at Graceland University I would find myself engaged in that ministry even in those times of great self doubt and uncertainty of my ability to serve. Others would guide me and aide me to see my worth when I cried out in pain. There was no doubt in me that I was that minister of comfort I ordained to be when I left there and entered into the world of theological studies, though perhaps even then the seed of a future call was sprouting in the deepest parts of my being.
Over the past few years I have struggle as the ministry I have felt called to provide has not always fallen within the construct of the office I serve in. I have a wide understanding of what that ministry is, but even I could not always aline my sense of ministry to my ordained office. I was told by several that I should provided the ministry I felt called to provide and not let my office hold me back. I did this in some ways, but some of that ministry just could not be done as a minister modeling Christ as Comforter, at least not directly. as time went on I came to realize the reality of that future calling and started to make slight alterations here and there, one being the renaming of this space of reflection to encompass the fuller being of Lyle instead of referring to the role of ministry I currently serve in.
In the past few weeks I have been drawn into deep reflection and thought upon the future and the present. last night when I should have been sleeping, or if not working on final papers, I found myself exploring scripture and my Patriarchal Evangelist Life Blessing. I engaged the reflections I made the other day regarding my sense of call and understanding of various offices, and came to realization of a potential future, along with a bit more guidance for the present and potential near future.
Once term ends on Friday I will be engaging myself into a series of reflections, at times perhaps even fasting, to try and gain better and clearer understanding of who it is God is calling me to be at this moment in the life of creation. I look forward to the discussion that I expect to have with my mentor and friend, and also with others.
In the name of the One who came and taught an amazing peace,
Peace be with you,
— Lyle II