I find it odd how often of late seemingly conflicting concepts have been the basis of post. In particular the last post I made and also this one. This week has been a glorious week, and yet at the same time it has been a week of struggle and frustration.
On Monday I started my two week intensive on “Worship an Music.” Thus far the class has been an interesting experience. In part as I am one of I think 2 people in the class that do not hail from Methodism. Thus, the primary focus tends to be from a Methodist perspective, however my participation and insight has been enthusiastically welcomed by the professor and several of my class mates. It is a bit of struggle at times, as it always is in seminary (and any other multi-faith conversation), to try and ensure accurate expressions of thoughts and ideas when people come together from different theological backgrounds and usage of terms.
Each day we have had to write a different type of prayer. So far a collect, litany, prayer of confession and assurance, and for yesterday a lament. The lament was perhaps the one I struggled with the most, as both the form and focus (as described in our assignment) do not clearly fit how I feel lead to pray nor my view, understanding and relationship with the Almighty One. However once I felt free to be less tied to the example formats from the book and the Psalms it referenced, I was able to produce a prayer that if not a true lament reflected in part the concept of lament.
Someday’s we also have had other papers to write. This weekend I have a pastoral prayer and a paper on baptism to write. I should also get a start of the Mystagogical sermon on the Eucharist that is due at the end of next week, and perhaps a few of the other assignments.
So where is the frustration in this week? It is found Tuesday at about 5:30pm EST. As I was on my way home, I heard a great screeching sound from the passenger side of the car and control of the car became difficult. I pulled over and got out to find the tire up against the fender.After calling my dad, and telling him about it, I slowly drove the care the remainder of the way home and parked it. The light was receding outside and so I could not get a good look at things to tell my dad, beyond the tire being a bit torn up. That night I spent over 2 and a half hours trying to work on the prayer due Wed, and though I had ideas, not a single word could be written. However when I went to my meditation/prayer room for my daily prayer for peace, I had a wonderful experience in prayer and though my frustration remained it was calmed and a peace was on me, but still was unable to focus on my school work, either the readings or the prayer. Thus they were put off til the next day, which meant when we worked on our prayers in class my partner did not get to read mine. However Thursday when I had the prayers for both days I had the same partner and he went over both, so it worked out in the end.
In the morning I crawled around the car taking pictures, and discussing with my dad the problem. For now the car is parked until it can get repaired. (Which if all goes well will be the end of next week.) It has been frustrating, yet amazing. What? Amazing? Yes, Amazing. As with the car down I choose walk to and from school on roads with little to no shoulder and high speed traffic, one with heavy traffic at the times I was travailing. On Wednesday when I walked it was also near or bellow freezing both ways. Yet it was an amazing experience. I saw thing I had never seen before when driving to and from. I had time to think, reflect and pray prayers of thanksgiving and praise. It was just an amazing experience, and each day since it has continued to be.
So Out of frustration came great joy. Now I must return to the challenge of doing a semester’s class in two weeks.
Peace be with you,
— Lyle II